i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Found your dick twin last night
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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