I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
