Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize