So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i barfeds in our rink
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
