is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize