Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
