im gay
i know
yea but for you.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
