my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
