I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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