i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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