If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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