Tell her she can't have a vagina
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
