Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize