God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
