I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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