Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
