that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
