My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
