apparently the secret to your success is patron
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
