I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
