We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There r osticjed everywhere
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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