Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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