don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
