I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
