mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
