I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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