3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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