Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
