So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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