would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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