maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
