So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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