I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
