I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
