Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
