I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
you never un-have a 4some
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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