Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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