your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize