Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
