Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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