That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
porn star boner night. come get it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
