I wish you could order shots online.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
