I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
