Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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