I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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