never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
