oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
