either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
