Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
