i think i have two assholes
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
