Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
