The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
