She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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