Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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