Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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