I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
