Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
