Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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